Thursday, April 7, 2011

The Lord Gives and Takes Away

Blessed be the name of the Lord.

That last part is really difficult.  But I don't suppose that it is ever easy when the verse is applicable.

The Lord gave, and He has taken away.  Yesterday Ryan was let go.  I was in the kitchen cleaning up after lunch when Mercy joyfully exclaimed that daddy was home.  And my heart sank to my toes.

Everything clicked into place so quickly four weeks ago.  He was offered the job.  He started two days later.  We found a place we love and moved in four days after he started.  God put us here for a reason.  But two weeks into work stress levels at work mounted.

They said it wasn't his fault.  He's a good accountant, but it was an experienced position and they've come to realize they made a mistake in thinking they could hire someone right out of school to fill it.  They'll write a letter of recommendation.  And with many apologies they handed him his check.

I've cried more in the past twenty-four hours than I have during the entire course of our marriage.  Last night Ryan simply held me until I went to sleep.  After sleeping in this morning I cried some more while he held me.  Then we began to talk, and he helped me with perspective.

Yes, every mother wants to know where her children are going to be sleeping in a month.  How we're going to pay the bills.  Have an answer when asked "where's our home, Mommy?"  But in reality, the Bible places very little value in financial security.  Yes, a man is to work hard to feed his family, but sometimes that looks a bit different than others.  Like when your country is in a recession with statistics that rival the great depression.

It is through suffering that Christ is truly revealed to us.  That's one of the reasons the apostles gave thanks in the midst of persecution.  Those who've never wondered where they'll be sleeping next week or next month have never seen God provide those things in the ways that we've seen Him do that for us.  We've seen Christ in situations that have felt desperately lonely and hopeless.

And now, more than ever, we're having to trust God for those things.  For nearly a month, we tasted financial security.  I thought I was able to plan for the future.  That I knew where I'd be tucking my children into bed next year.  I had visions of my children playing in the yard this summer.  Of a small garden.  Of making a home here.

And it's gone.  But even in the midst of that we're to give thanks.  For right now, what God has given us is enough.  However, I'll probably need to be reminded of that with some frequency for the foreseeable future.  

5 comments:

  1. "For right now, what God has given us is enough." Profound words in a most difficult situation. I'm truly sorry. Praying.

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  2. ((hugs)) I'm so sorry. My heart sinks every time my husband surprises us by coming home early. It should be elation, but in this economy I always worry.

    I pray that he finds something new soon and that this opens up more doors and windows all around.

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  3. So sorry Amber. Praying for your family! Hugs!

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  4. I'm so sorry Amber sending your lots of hugs and prayers. We've been in a really bad place financially too for the last several months...I know He has a plan for us and I just pray for his guidance.

    I pray there is another opportunity soon that was really meant for your husband.

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  5. I'm sorry, Amber. I will be praying for you and your family. I hope Ryan is able to find another job soon.

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